Dinner 2002

The Dinner of XIV Augustus XXII (Not a palindrome)

Wines and Treats

My dear fellow Funis and Funettes:

To begin with, my apologies are in order. Preparing this report of the Dinner Meeting of August 24th has taken an inordinately long time. For this, I humbly beg your indulgence.

What was the reason for this atypical behaviour? I must confess that, for once (and perhaps the first time) I was uninspired. Perhaps it was the lack of murder and mayhem that graced our Dinner Meeting of 2001, perhaps it was the absence of our Brother and Lady Biggles, perhaps my thoughts were preoccupied by the Dull Men's Club ( http://www.dullmen.com/) that I had recently located and with whom I had corresponded on behalf of the Funis. Or perhaps I was intimidated by the thought of having to follow up the sad tale of Monsieur Grenouille, which had been so enthusiastically received by all of you.

Whatever the reason, the result is before you – a belated and singularly unexciting report of the proceedings of the weekend of August 24th, 2002. Personally, I blame it on the palindromic nature of the year: it's 2002. Whether you read it normally or backwards, it's the same – what could possibly be more dull? "Able was I, ere I saw Elba in 2002" were rumoured to be somewhere among the dull, dull, dull last words of Napoleon (or perhaps it was Éclair or Pain au Chocolat – damn these French pastries). And so, without further ado (or even an adieu)…

* * *

Hosts: Mr. & Mrs. Gillis
Toastmaster: Mr. Macleod
Regrets: Mr. & Mrs. Wood (something lame about a grandchild being born)

Saturday the 24th was a lovely day in the lush Annapolis Valley. Guests arrived early at the imposing Gillis estate of Burnbrae (or, as your Secretary has called it over and over and over again, Gillisean Fields) to get their pick of the many guest rooms. The afternoon saw guests splashing about in the pool and playing tennis. Eventually, we gradually wandered away to change into our classy evening dress.

The hors d'oeuvres were served by Mr. Bagg and Ms. Conrad out by the pool. They consisted of hot-smoked and cold-smoked salmon, scallops saviche with garlic, pepper and cilantro, shrimp in walnut and olive oil with pepper and garlic, Iranian pickled shallots (sent by the Small Axis of Evil), olive tapenade, paté, pesto with olive oil and pesto with sun-dried tomatoes, and bread.

Following the opening festivities, the assembly moved inside for the remaining courses. Seating at the table (in contrast to the previous year) was accomplished quickly, easily, and without incident. Once this was done, the soup course was presented by Mr. Perina and Ms. Caverzan. This was a roasted acorn squash soup with Madeira, sour cream and truffle oil, with fingerling potatoes.

Following the soup, Mr. Smith and Ms. MacIntosh served their butter-poached lobster, which Mr. and Mrs. Macleod complemented with their risotto and broccoli roasted with garlic and lemon.

At this point, Mr. Macleod (wearing the figurative hat of the Vice-Chairman of Proceedings) called the Society's attention to the announcement that the United States now requires an audited statement verifying the accountability of companies. Mr. Lemon was therefore called upon to produce audited statements of the Society, for signature by the Vice-Chairman.

The Society and significant others were polled on potential names for the Wood child. Proposals included Soft, Drift, Rose, Holly, Sher (or Sure), Satin, Worm, Undermilk, Willow, Punk, Touch, Howmuchwoodwouldawoodchuckchuckifawoodchuckcouldchuck, Sandal, Balsa, Numberone, Cherry, Ash, Yew, Iwouldn'tbutyew, Beech, Knockon, Lemon, Olive, Hazel, Rowan, Laurel, Red, Camellia, and the famous Coolibah. We fully expect that the infant in question remains un-named in expectation of the receipt of this list of appropriate monikers, to be forwarded by Lord and Lady Biggles.

Mr. and Mrs. Gillis then served their salad of fresh vine-ripened tomatoes on beds of lettuce with basil and red onions, lemon vinaigrette and black walnut syrup (all of which was, of course, produce of the Gillis estate gardens - with the possible exception of the lemons.)

During consumption of the salad, Mr. Macleod introduced yet another topic for discussion: Funis and the headlines. The announcement of the resignations (or potential resignations) of Alexa MacDonough, Joe Clark, Jean Chretien, Stockwell Day, and the leaders of several major US corporations leads to the question: Will Macleod offer for the Vice-Chairmanship of Proceedings after he dies? Mr. Gillis assumes that a dead person is able to hold the position, which leads to several confused inquiries from participants who assumed that this had already occurred. Secondary discussion ensued of whether or not Mr. Macleod will be permitted to die. No decision was made, so the matter is currently suspended pending an investigation of the claim by the Vice-Chairman of Proceedings that he is, in fact, not dead. The remaining Funis will submit a report as soon as they are able to verify that they themselves are undeceased. We all hope for a speedy (dare I say "quick"?) decision.

The next course, served by Mr. Lemon & Ms. Whitman, with vegetables by Mr. & Mrs. Macleod, was pork tenderloin with cumin and orange sauce, rosemary roasted potatoes, balsamic roasted shallots, and green beans with roquefort and walnuts.

Considerable discussion ensued on whether or not Mr. Bagg's trunk was open. This concern was not centred around his baggage, nor around the major part of his body, but, if you will, his boot. Not his footwear, and not his ability to kick, but the hinged, lockable compartment at the rear of his car. Of course, this was a matter of concern as the trunk is the repository of his beer (at least until he opens it and pours it into his trunk, which is not his boot, and... oh, bugger it!), and it had started raining. One of these days he'll get blood poisoning from twisting off a rusty beer cap, and it will serve him bloody well right!

The dessert, served by Mr. Flute and Ms. Murphy, was Tartuffo Paradiso: kiwi, blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries marinated in black sambucca, Devon cream and Grand Marinier, garnished with chocolate truffles and mint, served on a raspberry-blackberry coulis. It was observed that this combination of colours did not go particularly well with green silk. Following the dessert (note the lack of discussion and the absence of one particular Funi) Mr. & Mrs. Gillis produced a plate of cheeses and fruit, to round out the meal and provide sustenance as discussions wound down over port and brandy.

The next morning, a noticeably quieter and more restrained group was treated to breakfast, prepared by Mr. Mitchell and Ms. Martin. There were three varieties of sausages (apple, honey & garlic, sun-dried tomato), bacon, hash-browned potatoes with mushrooms and onions, scrambled eggs, Good Hearth and other breads, English muffins, orange juice, 2 bottles of sparkling wine (Marques de Monistrol - Spain), and various Gillis jams, jellies, and peanut butter in a jar shaped like a large-breasted bear. We are not sure why someone in the Gillis clan would have a partiality towards well-endowed ursines, but there you go.

The day had, unfortunately, come in overcast, so there was less of the usual pre-departure swimming and tennis. When the overcast turned to rain, the stragglers ended up moving under the shelter of a large tree beside the newly-built changing-house. Still and all, it could have been worse - there was no mayhem this year.

Note: The Gillises have thoughtfully erected a M. Grenouille Memorial Sundial atop a concrete pedestal on the lawn, just outside the pool. The sundial is replete with a replica of a squashed frog cast in bronze at the base of the gnomon. Mr. Flute was close to tears on seeing this memorial.

Wines selected by Robert Flute and Donald Mitchell in the absence of Brother Wood.

1 btl 1999 Caliterra Merlot (Chile)

2 btl 2001 Lamberti Grigio Chardonnay (Italy)

1 btl 2001 Wyndham Estate Bin 222 Chardonnay (Australia)

1 btl 2000 Jindalee Shiraz (Australia)

1 btl 2001 Lindeman's Bin 95 Sauvignon Blanc (Australia)

1 btl 2000 Banrock Station Sparkling Shiraz (Australia)

1 btl 2001 Caliterra Sauvignon Blanc (Chile)

3 btl 2001 Bodega Lurton Pinot Gris (Argentina)

2 btl 2000 Canaletto Primitivo Buglia (Italy)

2 btl 1999 Parés Baltà Maselena (Spain)

1 btl 1995 Delaforce Late Bottled Vintage Port (Portugal)